PROTECTION
I would say I’ve been hiding behind my addiction.
And maybe that is true.
But I think the reality is that my addiction is trying to hide me.
People see me and they may or may not see the alcohol.
Either way, alcohol is easier to acknowledge than trauma.
Alcohol is easier to admit to than the trauma I’ve been through.
Alcohol is easier to talk about.
My family would much rather I be an alcoholic than a victim of child abuse.
My addiction is protecting my father and my family.
It’s not protecting me.
Yes, I’m terrified.
But I’m more terrified of living the rest of my life trying to preserve and protect the ideal picture of my family.
Because the reality is, no one cares anymore.
Except all of you.
The church doesn’t care.
Your friends don’t care.
The community doesn’t care.
Everyone has moved on.
The world finds honesty and transparency much more valuable than hypocrisy and secrets.
One way is fear. The other way is strength.
I. Choose. Strength.